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    1/3/2007

    半醉方觉更清醒

       

    许久没有打理自己的博客,四壁蛛网,久未人至。不曾成文些东西,因为眼睛的手术做为理由,更准确的是难以把握又不能定格的心情。想写下的,想倾诉的,那样多,那样深刻,可是,终究未曾记录下,因为我想忘却.......
        喝酒,这段时日多了一些酒场,不会喝酒也不擅酒令的我,环顾周围的热闹熟络,沉默寡言的自己格外显得拘谨。
        却也半醉了......
        过往的事情例例在目,平时不想想的,努力想忘却的,想掩示的,想忽略的,想不在意的,想视同过眼云烟的,一切一切,又清晰了,又拉近了,生生地凝在眉间,硬硬地堵在心头,让我一阵阵发冷......
        有人说,爱有多深,总是要用一次次的伤害来证明。是吗?!
        心是酸涩的,一股郁郁的气闷在胸口,无法排解,无处释放,无计可施,无可奈何,泪却又总是流不尽的......
        伤害?!
        值得吗?!
        取舍?!
        重要吗?!
        语无伦次,毫无逻辑。
        喝下一小口酒,辣辣的苦。顺着喉咙,缓缓的一路灼热,直至最深处......
        酒,对于我,不禁让我想起你给我爱情。对于它,我是那样的敏感,那样容易让我沉醉,让我终其一生迷醉不醒,笑过,恼过,痛过,伤过,悔过,依然执着,唯中情于它,到底,我不能割舍的是什么?!
        不愿再尝别样的酒,我想,伤感时,它们都是诱人的,认为它可以解人忧苦。但我相信,它们都是苦涩的,半醉时候的清醒,更是难以忍受的痛苦和面目绯红的缄默......
       
       

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    这就是生活吧。
    不过一个会遗忘的人会比较幸福!
    Feb. 8

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